Fareham Counselling Centre · Hampshire

Counselling & CBT for Fear of Intimacy Hampshire

Sensitive, judgement-free support for closeness that feels difficult — in Fareham or online.

When getting close feels safer from a distance

You might long for a close relationship, yet feel yourself pull away just as things start to matter. Perhaps you keep people at arm's length, find reasons to end things, or feel uneasy when someone sees the real you.

A fear of intimacy is usually a way of protecting yourself, often learned long ago. It is not a flaw, and it can change. With a counsellor in Fareham, or online, you can understand where it comes from, and gradually let people closer in a way that feels safe.

Book a free, confidential call Or call free on 0800 970 4776
A man talking openly with his counsellor in Fareham
It started as protection. Now it can become a choice, not an automatic reaction.

The push and pull

Move the slider to bring two people closer. Then switch on "With therapy" and try again.

Just metReally close
Getting to know each other

Exciting, and safe

This feels good. I can enjoy this.

Early on, closeness feels easy because nothing much is at risk yet.

Therapy does not push you closer than you want to be. It helps you stay close by choice, rather than pulling away by reflex.

Signs you might recognise

Fear of intimacy can be hard to spot in yourself, because keeping your distance can feel normal.

Short-lived relationships

You enjoy the start, then feel uneasy and pull away as things deepen.

Finding fault

You notice yourself nitpicking or creating distance when someone gets close.

Fear of rejection

You hold back to avoid being hurt, sometimes before anything has even happened.

Feelings feel risky

Talking about emotions, or your own needs, feels uncomfortable or exposing.

Staying very independent

Keeping busy, keeping it light, or needing no one can feel safer than relying on someone.

Physical closeness

Touch or sex can feel difficult too. About sexual difficulties

Where it can come from

A fear of intimacy usually makes sense once you understand its roots. It is often shaped by experiences like these.

Early relationships with parents Feeling you had to earn love Being let down or betrayed A painful break-up or divorce Losing someone close A controlling relationship Abuse or trauma Low self-worth

Some people also know this pattern as an "avoidant attachment style". Whatever you call it, counselling can help.

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How therapy can help

You do not have to know where your fear comes from before you start. That is part of what therapy helps you discover.

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Counselling

The relationship with your counsellor itself becomes a safe place to practise being open.

About counselling
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CBT

Spot the thoughts that tell you to back away, and try small steps towards closeness instead.

About CBT
 A woman smiling during a therapy session

EMDR

If past hurt or betrayal still feels raw, EMDR can help those memories lose their grip.

About EMDR
 A happy couple smiling together

Couples counselling

If you are in a relationship, you can work on this together, or start on your own first.

About couples counselling

Some people also find hypnotherapy helpful, to build a deeper sense of safety and self-confidence.

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★★★★★

“James was friendly and understanding. His empathy and enthusiasm in helping me reach my aims made it so much easier and achievable. Thoroughly recommend him!”

Clive, Fareham
ConfidentialA private, non-judgemental space
From £72Counselling. CBT from £90
In person or onlineFareham, Hampshire, or by video
Alone or togetherIndividual or couples sessions

Questions about fear of intimacy

A woman smiling at home, feeling settled
How do I know if I have a fear of intimacy?
It is often noticed as a pattern, such as relationships that end as they get serious, or feeling uneasy when someone gets close. If any of the signs on this page sound familiar, a free call can help you make sense of it.
Can I come on my own?
Yes. Most people start with individual counselling, whether or not they are in a relationship. Many find it easier to explore this privately first.
Can my partner and I come together?
Yes. Couples counselling can help you both understand the push and pull, and find ways to feel closer. About couples counselling.
Does it include physical intimacy?
It can. Some people struggle with emotional closeness, some with physical closeness, and some with both. Your counsellor will work with whatever feels relevant to you, at your pace.
How long does it take to change?
Patterns built over many years can take a little time to shift, but many people notice changes in how they relate to others within a few months. Your counsellor will review things with you as you go.
Can I have sessions online?
Yes. Online sessions by secure video cost the same as in person, and some people find it easier to open up from home at first.
How much does it cost?
Counselling starts from £72 a session, CBT from £90, and couples counselling is £90. Your first 15 minute call is free. See all our prices.
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Closeness can feel safe

Start with a free, confidential 15 minute call. You can share as little as you like, and we will find the right counsellor for you.

Book my free call Call free 0800 970 4776
Free, confidential, no obligation